Mallzee: a Christmas wish
to begin, I would like to make one thing crystal clear: I am all too aware of the fact that I am too old to be writing to you. This act is seen as immature, controversial, perhaps even somewhat laughable. To be frank- I do not care.
I write, simply and with clear intent, to inform you of what I would like this Christmas. I do hope this does not come across as demanding or bothersome- I only thought, if you were undoubtedly getting me something, it may as well be something I want. Santa, do not waste your efforts on yet another pair of sparkly socks or a mug with my name on. I have enough of each to fill a lifetime.
This year, what I’d really like- more than a holiday or new homewares or, God forbid, an “experience”- is Mallzee. Yes, Santa, the shopping app. You see, I hear on the fashion focussed grapevine that they’ve released a new version. Mallzee now has new interactions and a new tab bar making it easier to use- perfect for those days I can’t be bothered to throw on my Gucci loafers and be forced to deal with the public at large. New in-depth product information includes new items, delivery options and full screen images. Can you imagine?? Oh Santa, I just want it so bad…
I hear the team behind it are pretty cool, too. Apparently their office is awash with tinsel, fairy lights and decorations- definite Christmas fanatics. They’re probably from Poundland but I suppose not everyone can afford bespoke. Really, it’s in your interest to support them. When the time comes, I’ll sure they’ll give a shout it to you, too. Every little helps and all.
Not to whine, but I really do need Mallzee. All my friends have it. They constantly talk about how much fun it is. AND THEY ALL LOOK GREAT. Should you care to sort it out for me, dearest Santa, I promise I’d do my bit by in turn spreading the word. As incredible as Mallzee is, I hear it’s built by a surprisingly small start-up team based in Edinburgh. I swear I’d help spread the word should you care to fill my stocking with my heart’s true desire this Christmas. They’ve made doing so enticingly easy, too, as Mallzee actually gets better the more friends you have using it. Wouldn’t even take up any of my vastly important down time- not that I’m in any way greedy, self important or spoilt. I just know what I want.
Lastly, Santa, one vital piece of information. I know this sounds too good to be true, but I hear Mallzee is free. Yes, really. No pennies, pesetas or elf hours at all. Can you believe it?? In truth, I’m doing you a massive favour by suggesting Mallzee- leaving you with more time and money to spend on others more in need than me.
Actually, the more I think about it the more I think I’d actually like a new Marc Jacobs iPhone cover. Please spend the money on that so my phone can look shiny and new when I flash my new Mallzee app to all my besties. They’ll be green with envy. Perfect.
Thanks Santa, eagerly awaiting your visit. I’ll try my best not to drink all the sherry before you arrive.
Kisses x x x x x x